so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
