I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Pants are for mortals
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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