Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
