This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I intend to get homeless drunk
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
