Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
