What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
