I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
