is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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