is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
