im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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