Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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