you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
