whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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