is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
