Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
