Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Randomize
