That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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