Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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