Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
