Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
