help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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