Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
