Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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