What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
