This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
