You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
When are your genitals available?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
