Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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