The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
