Already got asked if we're dating
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
