I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
