Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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