She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
