the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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