I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize