Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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