Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
