she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
