i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
