I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
