College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
