Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize