I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
