come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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