i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
