she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
