My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
