His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
cat food counts as protein by the way
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize