No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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