she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
