Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
