just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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