i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
