He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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