if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
