is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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