JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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