She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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