so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
In other news, I just burned my penis
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize