Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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