Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
