i barfeds in our rink
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
