talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
