Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
