maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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