Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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